Or Save The Rhyme (competition)


There’s no apparent rhyme or reason why poetry is turning up its nose on rhyming.
Rhyming is being shunned by poetry clubs, competition-holders and even gift cards!
Anyone cares to enlighten me on the why?

Is this because it is so difficult to rhyme? Especially if the subject be orange?

Is it because people are secretly tired of poetry and would rather read prose, but want to be labelled as poetry lovers?

Or is it that this post-modern age has out-grown the simple, humble and delightfully childlike rhymes?

Whatever the reason, it’s a crying shame. I don’t just say this because I secretly write awful rhyming poetry myself. No, I say this because the child in me, like all the little ones I’ve taught, adores rhymes – silly rhymes, nursery rhymes, educational rhymes… Did I mention silly rhymes?

Can you imagine growing up in a world with no rhymes. Let’s take a couple of well-loved nursery rhymes, edit out the rhymes and replace them with random sensible words . Let’s see how they read.

Starlight, Star Glow
Starlight, star glow
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I can
Have the wish I wish just now.

Lacking that wistful magical touch, isn’t it?

One Two, Buckle My Belt
One, two, buckle my belt
Three, four, knock on the pine
Five six, pick up bugs
Seven, eight, lay them down
Nine, ten, the big fat dog!

Nope, can’t say I can see my little students having cracked up over the big, fat dog.

We obviously have to preserve these rhymes for the little ones.

And what of the limerick and silly rhymes?

Are they to die a hideous death at the hand of the No Rhyming Police? What a joyless world that would be without a confused flea and a fly on a flue…or the cautionary tale of the Lady of Niger and the tiger? Or The Man from Antigua…?

How would we be able to convince our kids that language is quite hilarious, quite absurd, and twice as much fun as Maths or PE?

Song lyrics. What would our favourite songs be sans a rhyme or two? May as well ditch the rhythm too – for it does encourage the rhyme…

And down that path lies the kind of madness I want no part of.

So I’m going to ignore the No Rhyme Police.

I’m going to defiantly rhyme,
any old thyme.
Or do I mean time.
Perhaps, it will make more sense
if I change the tense…?
No, that’s just dense.

So, now I’ve made you cringe with my awful rhyme
and I’ve got to whinge about this awful crime
I’ll make amends with a contest this time.

Hear ye, hear ye!
Writers big and small,
Writers short and tall!
These 10 days I run a contest for the best rhyme.
Make me smile, make me laugh, make me read both limerick and twisted nursery mime.

The rules:

Rhymes must be original.
Rhymes must not be offensive to anybody or being (exception: Barney The Purple Dinosaur). Rhymes must be in English.
Rhymes should be no longer than 20 lines.
Only one entry per a person.

Closing date: 31 December 2014
Winners announced: Between 8-10 Jan 2015 on this blog.
Prizes: Two awarded. Copies of both my books to each winner: Situation No Win and Here Be Monsters (both will be redeemable only at Smashwords) .
Entry method: Paste your rhyme in the entry form below, then giggle.
The not so small print: The judge’s decision is final. Prizes cannot be exchanged for cash. e-coupons will be issued to the winners. Failure to download at Smashwords before the expiry date will result in a loss of the prize/s. By entering this contest, you agree to the terms of the contest, including absolving this blogger from any liabilities you may incur by your participation.

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