Who could possibly be advertising today? Take a guess.
An assistant, preferably from a scientific background, versed in logical thinking and deduction. Must be knowledgeable in various arts, psychology and self-defense. Must know his way around London and parts of Switzerland. Most importantly, must be willing to always play second fiddle.
Apply in person after breakfast tomorrow morning at 221B Baker’s Street.
Prime property in heart of nature. Rustic cottage with outside facilities. Perfect fixer-upper.
Features: large fire-place, uninterrupted views of forest, low-maintenance year-round mud-pool, countryside values, off the beaten track, lively neighbors with local folk ideals.
Would suit bachelor or newly wed couple.
Call at the castle for the key or to arrange a viewing.
PA for inventor. Must have experience in the use of ShrinkRays, rocket building, and the use of Boogie Robots. Must be fit and be able to run fast. Pilot’s license a huge advantage, along with the capacity to understand (at once) the requirements of nefarious plans. Must be over 5’11 in height as this position is for an individual, not three minions.
Send CV with a motivation letter telling us how you would steal the moon without the use of shrinkrays. Apply to chillaxingprof@____.com
Authentic pirate’s hook. Made from the finest mahogany and steel. Includes new, hardly used Stainless Steel hook. Owner now has prosthetic.
Call 555 555 555.
For Sale: Pair of glass-slippers, size 3 and a half. Slightly cracked. Easily removable slight stains of mud, blood and pumpkin. Will suit any ballgown.
Tired of the daily grind of the Empire?
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Special mud treatments, daily exercise, and meditations led by our most renowned master who will gently guide you to a new level of being.
Look, and you shall find your way to us.
You need only be seeking.
Alternatively, ask directions to the Little Green Guy’s Retreat at your nearest JDI Store.