First things first: the winner of a copy of ‘How Not To Meet The Man of Your Dreams’ is Donna Mixon.
Donna’s entry read: ‘Mr Wrong has a bad attitude. He never has anything pleasant to say about anyone or anything. As a matter of fact, he is so disgruntled and angry that he doesn’t treat anyone well…especially women.’
So true. This Mr Wrong with the attitude shows no respect for others, and would probably have little, if any, respect for himself. So give ol’ Aretha Franklin a listen and wave goodbye to him.
Now let’s look at other telling traits of Mr Wrong. You are, naturally, free to disagree with me on any point, as your Mr Right could well be my Mr Wrong.
Mr Wrong never prioritises you or time with you. His mother/brother/sister/father/grandmother/best friend…they all see more of him than you do. Special dates you might have had are cancelled because his brother’s car needs fixing yet again. Your annual holiday, the one that you’ve been planning since last year, has been cancelled because his sister is going through a divorce. It’s good to have a man who cares about his family, but not when it’s a 80-20% ratio with you getting 20% of his attention while his family and friends are 80% more likely to be eating away at your together-time. Also known as Mr Never-there and Mr Never-really-knew-you-at-all.
Mr Wrong can’t communicate. Now, I’ve seen different kinds of communication between couples–some verbal some not; where messages are sent, received, understood and actioned (either with a reply in kind or an actual action). This is great. Everyone communicates in different ways. So if you can’t decipher the man’s communication style or methods, the communication mismatch is going to result in much greater problems. For instance: He says I need some space. You respect that and make more space in the closets for his stuff. A week later, just when you’re about to report a missing person’s case, he sends you a message from Mongolia. So Mr Wrong is never on the same page as you.
Mr Wrong expects you to never change. He asked you out because he thought you looked good in your bridesmaid’s dress, now he constantly complains about your casual dressing. He thinks you still love wearing the same perfume that you hungered after when you were eighteen. He can’t understand why you want to change jobs when you’ve been overlooked for promotion two years in a row.
Mr Wrong in stuck in his feminine energy. Now I get that some woman like this; that they like calling the shots and ruling their man because being in control means more than being in a loving equal relationship. And some guys love being taken care of and playing second fiddle instead of playing accompanying bass, if you’ll excuse the mixed metaphors. But most women I know respond well and feel safe with a masculine man; not cave-man mind, but a man who isn’t afraid to be a guy instead of trying to be one of the girls. Because most guys who prefer to stick to their feminine energy, when dating and while in relationships, are bitchy! And really, who needs that from your man? Besides, this Mr Feminine Wrong will always be unhappy and will make you unhappy as you’ll be stuck in your masculine energy when you least want to be.
Another telling trait of Mr Wrong is that he is unsupportive of your dreams, aspirations and ideas. He’ll laugh at you for wanting to take ceramics class, snicker at your flavor experiments with your ice-cream maker, and deride your beliefs in how trees really feel sad too; then calls you cute and goes back to the TV. His degree of Wrongness intensifies the more you support his dreams and ideas, especially the more ridiculous ones like the earth is ending in 200 years so there’s really no point in recycling.
Mr Wrong has an exciting life that puts you in danger. So you can’t resist bad boys, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life serving joint prison-terms with him? Or he looks like James Bond (or Ashton Kutcher in ‘Killers’) and drives a fast car after four martinis. But do you really want to know what being the meaty bit of a tree and crashed car sandwich feels like?
This list of the traits of Mr Wrong is far from complete. I shall be adding updates to it as my research reveals more.
Your help in understanding Mr Wrong and identifying TMOYD are always welcome. Simply leave a comment below or contact me via the contact form if you wish to remain anonymous.
In the meantime, beware Mr Wrong. He has many guises and like a pesky mosquito, weaves his way into your life and draws a bit of you that you aren’t prepared to give. The only repellent is knowledge. Use it wisely:-D