m_Twilight Barkers b

Twilight Barkers—The Interviews


I hounded seven dogs I know (knew) for an interview.
Here’s what I got back.

Names have been changed to protect their people and confuse the cats.

m_Schucks b

m_Shucks
Sense of humor, wat’s dat?

 

Name: The Big Black (Oh) Shuck(s), or whichever sweary word comes first to mind.
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Tell dem how I almost caught the burdie dat got away, complain ’bout dem not listening, de-constructing tings (‘specially metal fountain pumps—taste shockin good!), and helping dem garden—and being friends wit the Drat Cat’s enemy.
Most annoying things in the world:
No biscuit, cats, moo-cows
Favourite things:
Playing ball, playing footbottle, big hugs!
Favourite old song:
Iggy Pop’s Lust for Lifeooooh, ooooooooo!
Favourite New song:
Best Day Of My Life-wuh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huhho!
Favourite aunt:
Leenna!
Favourite words:
Wat a clever boy!

 

m_Miss Snarky b

m_Snarky
Thees look, stupeed.

 

Name: Mme Snarky. I em, how-you-say, Vrench!
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Sit on their foot an’, how-you-say, ‘let one go’? Say: “You want me to walk all that way?”, give thees look, an’ go back to sleep. Bark at smelling leetle peeple and cats.
Most annoying things in the world:
Walking all the way around dee house for one biscuit. Vetty peeple, leetle peeple, small cars, moving house—again!
Favourite things:
Sleeping, eating, making jokes at everyone, sleeping, being Vrench!
Favourite old song:
Wiggle Itjust a leetle beet. Acid Grroove!
Favourite New songs:
Shake it OffEm lightening on my feet, that’s what peeple say…
Favourite aunt:
Don’t be stupeed, it’s Leenna.
Favourite words:
Sit! Eet means sleep in Vrench.

 

m_I am a diva b

m_SeeSee bath
Bath time. NOW!

 

Name: SeeSee!
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Tell them to put my blankie right at 11:30pm, 1:15am, 3:30am, 4:15am. Bark at burdies. Wipe my nose on their clothes. Insist on having a bath.
Most annoying things in the world:
Losing my Pooh-bear, my blankie moving when I move, my blankie not be just right, Droopy brother.
Favourite things:
Not telling Droopy Brother what I see over the wall (heehee!), my blankie, my Pooh-bear, Droopy Brother’s biscuits and food, getting Droopy into trouble, going in the car!
Favourite old song:
Don’t cry for me Arrhgentiiiiinaaaah!
Favourite New songs:
Don’t cry for me Arrhgentiiiiinaaaah!
Favourite aunt:
Mandy!
Favourite words:
Bad boy, Dawg!

 

m_vertically challenged

m_Dawg
Aunts!

 

Name: I’m-not-Droopy-I’m-a-Hound-Dawg. Or just Dawg for…ease.
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Bark. Bark. Then Bark again. Look accusingly at them, steal their seat, traumatize any chickens that fly into the garden.
Most annoying things in the world:
SeeSee not telling me what’s happening over the wall—it’s just meanness to us vertically challenged ones. SeeSee getting me into trouble. Being vertically challenged with stupid, stupid long ears.
Favourite things:
SeeSee’s bed; chasing chickens; on drives, looking accusingly at dad in the rearview mirror when SeeSee’s drooling on me; sitting on mum’s lap—or anyone’s lap, really; sharing a guy’s moment with dad.
Favourite old song:
I don’t sing…but I might have rapped if my ears hadn’t always gotten in the way.
Favourite New songs:
Fireball
Favourite aunt:
Aunts! Aunts! I hate them! Leave your food for just a minute, and they’re all over it, and up your nose…and biting your bum when you accidentally sit on them. Aunts!
Favourite words:
‘Naughty, SeeSee!’ And ‘Let’s go for a walk.’

 

m_You look so funny b

m_Childrens
Wake me up for a hug

 

Name: Childrens
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Wait until I know they aren’t looking, then wander off to where they don’t want me to go—where the dassie are. Snap at them. Disappear, so that they can’t find me when they’re in a hurry.
Most annoying things in the world:
People I don’t know who try to pet me, being scooped up and carried away before I get to scare dassies, not seeing my people anymore.
Favourite things:
Sleeping, hugs and kisses, walking on grass, my bed, going on holidays, a good scratch!
Favourite old song:
Singing in the Rainjust singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling…
Favourite New songs:
Happy! Clap you hands if you that happiness is…
Favourite aunt:
Just one? I love all my aunts.
Favourite words:
Don’t have any.

 

m_Expresso boxed in

m_Expresso
Moshing is tiring

 

 

Name: Expresso! ‘Cos having me around is like having 2-3 or even 4 cups—no decaf!
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Run off without warning (they need the exercise, everybody needs exercise, and it’s fun!), licking their noses, moshing without warning, licking frogs, ice-cubes!
Most annoying things in the world:
hot weather, being scolded, Childrens stealing my spot, the car window locked!
Favourite things:
automatic car windows—oh yeah! My teddy-bear, hugs and kisses, playing—but not football ‘cos all dad does is bark at the TV.
Favourite old song:
Wake Me Up Before You GoGoI’m not planning on going solo…
Favourite New songs:
Top of the Worldyeah! I’m on top of the world, yeah!
Favourite aunt:
All of them!
Favourite words:
Let’s go.

 

m_Urban Wolf b

m_Vanilla Wolf
Peace!

 

Name: Vanilla Wolf
Favourite Ways to Annoy People:
Shed fur. It’s not my fault. I wish people would understand that.
Most annoying things in the world:
dirt, mud, grown cats, impolite people
Favourite things:
The Beach! Cars (for rides—I don’t chase cars; I’m not stupid, you know). Sleeping, winter, going for a walk.
Favourite old song:
SuntoucherPeace!
Favourite New songs:
RiptideAaah hoooo hoooo hoo
Favourite aunt:
All of them!
Favourite words:
Doggie bag!

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