Potential always fascinates me.
For most of my life, my potential and performance didn’t match. This confused people, and left me feeling inadequate academically, professionally, and socially. I felt I was labelled an underachiever…That I’d never be good enough at anything and for anyone…With an overachieving sister and brother, I was the stereotypical middle-child and black sheep drowning in expectations I couldn’t and didn’t want to live up to. I didn’t know I was depressed because we didn’t talk about such things, but I did know I was unhappy. That I hadn’t really, truly been happy since I was about three years old, before others’ expectations were grafted onto me. But, through it all I felt I had the potential to be happy and contented in my own way, to be truly me—that there had to be another way.
I realised I needed to explore my potential in less schooled and traditional ways, to be inspired by different threads of self-potential and belief as Leonardo Da Vinci and Nikolai Tesla had done. That left me with travel and creativity. I embraced both ideas until I got the actual nerve to explore my potential through extended stays in Scotland, China, Australia, and various weekends in Southern Africa. While on my spiritual and physical explorations, I’m a bundle of nerves kitted out with my intuition and cards, DTP Design experience and Video Production for TV eyes, a camera, laptop and one large suitcase or backpack.
I took up tarot reading in 1999, so discovering my main purpose in tarot lay in helping others discover and explore their own potentials. Recently, I’ve realized this spiritual—my evolutionary—purpose extended to my writing, too!
But it’s travelling which triggers my creativity and allows me to discern which potentials I need to explore and would enjoy the most, ‘cos there’s one thing I know for sure: We all have more than one potential. We all have more than one gift. And it’s fun exploring them. Until it’s not. But there’s always more potential, unlike hope. I believe potential can never run out, but it can be ignored…
I’m a low-key kind of person, which is funny ‘cos that can sound like ‘Loki’ and someone’s been labelling me a trickster. Perhaps, it’s true ‘cos my successes have been seemingly unremarkable—even weird—in the ‘real’ world context…until now.
I’ve finally accepted that it’s okay, and more me, to explore different threads of myself, and to be more than one thing…to re-label and be multi-labelled!
Now, for the first time, I feel I’m realising my potential as a writer, tarot reader, and creative—simultaneously!
Even more exciting, I’m starting to think of myself as a
Or a Potential Whisperer.
I can’t do it with horses yet, but the potential is there…
Everyone’s path looks different. Everyone’s way will be different. And everyone’s potential is different. That’s what makes life. That’s what brings flow.
My own building blocks to exploring potentials and my truths are:
Travel, Writing, Tarot
I can’t help you with the travel. That’s your way (or not).
But I can help you explore your current and future potential with the tarot.
Writing is one way I express my potentials, interests, and expressing my new found ideas. This blog is one of those outlets, so are my fiction and other books.
Find my books here.
Find more of my work on www.leennascreativebox.wordpress.com